Thoughts for a better life…

Two myths are circulating that well, maybe the reason for much of the anxiety we feel today. One- that to love someone is to agree with them, or two- that if you disagree, you fear or hate them! Both are irrational and noise created in hope for division.

We see this in action when people take to the streets or issue bold onesided editorials through social media. Watch the next protest to observe how this fairytale plays out. Each viewpoint is locked into their agenda with statements and signs indicating a position. Anyone on the other side is the enemy, called names, and unable to understand or comprehend. Neither side cares what the message is from afar; they merely want to object to the people across from them.

In social media, a political post isn’t placed to begin a collaborative dialog; it is sent as a war cry with the same ambitions. When a diverging opinion is given, they too are the enemy, called names, and unable to understand or comprehend.

I recently read that Susan Rice, a strong consideration as the Vice Presidential candidate on the democrat ticket, has a President Trump-supporting, son John David Rice-Cameron. He may be the most vocal conservative leader on the Stanford campus. He is determined to “Make Stanford Great Again.”  Imagine with me that they well could be found standing on opposite sides of a protest or post.

Yet, while they disagree on most of their political views, they love and respect each other. There isn’t the name-calling, they don’t see each other as an enemy, nor do they believe the other is unable to understand or comprehend. Through their discussions, they know without question, their common bond is a love of our country and that America is the greatest nation in the world. Love and respect aren’t determined through their common views.

When we look at history, we see our successes have come from a diversity of opinions: the greater the variety of view, the more robust the outcome. One size doesn’t fit all. Respectful disagreements foster win-win solutions. No wonder President Lincoln is so revered, he put together a team of rivals.

We need to learn from our rich history and begin to take steps that will allow us to continue making strides once taken, ensuring a better world for everyone.

Jaren

A majority of Americans identify as being unhappy today. Eight of ten feel our country is out of control. There aren’t many statistics in life that have reached that high of majority, primarily when it is negative.  Let it settle in that those polled are our neighbors, our friends, and our family.

It may be we come up with excuses as to why. Justifications such as the fact we have suffered from a pandemic with fears of loss, uncertainty, and grief. Or that the shutdown led to an economic crisis with lost jobs, confinement in homes, isolated shortages of products, children pulled from school, and adults unable to go to work. Yet, I think it may be more profound than that!

As life appeared to be improving, we watched a man gunned down in Georgia while jogging, a man asphyxiated by a person in uniform carrying a badge. Then we witnessed a man with a seemingly simple DUI arrest conclude with a shot ending his life. These three men were black. Protests both civil and otherwise arose. The unrest brought to the forefront perceived and real inequities in our justice system. These incidents may have highlighted what has been going on for some time in our country. But, I think it may be more profound than that too!

We used to turn to educational and social institutions, government, media, and leaders for guidance. It was there we gained the hope and clarity we needed as a nation. These institutions no longer seem like a place of unity. An example may be the media. It used to be a place to turn to for some semblance of accuracy in tempering emotion. The freedom the press enjoyed was designed to keep us informed or act as a referee, someone who we may not have always liked but respected. Not so much anymore. However, I think it may be more profound than that as well!

My belief is the unhappiness we feel is due to a modern-day polarization that is occurring with current technologies. We are in an endless tug-of-war with two extremes pulling as hard as they can toward their side. It is constant tension, relentless angst, and continuous agitation. Adding the above factors, no wonder at times the pain is unbearable and people are moved to actions often foreign to our normal lives!

Yet, as a nation, we are far from polarized! The evidence is all around us. We voted for Obama then Trump, we have a Republican Senate and Democrat House. We are split fifty-fifty with only a slight variation to the right or left at any given time.

For our nation to heal, for individuals to find happiness again, we need to meet in the middle.  We can get to the center in two ways, how we are doing it now, with both sides relentlessly pulling, or we can throw down the imaginary rope and walk to the center seeking areas of unity, and consensus. Finding common ground doesn’t suggest forfeiting values, it merely highlights our similarities. It sets aside the fringe elements the media endlessly promotes giving us hope in humanity.

It is up to us to stop the tug-of-war filled with fear for the future that will certainly divide us. It won’t be the institutions that will lead us; there is too much money to be made in conflict. Anger and fear are profitable; unity is not. It is we the people. People of good conscience if we are to emerge from this season of unrest. America is the greatest experiment in world history; we have proven that when we are united, we succeed in filling the earth with goodness and opportunity.

My question to you is whether or not it is worth it? I can tell you it is for me, and I am willing to try. To continue with the learning, growing, and improving, knowing each new day is a chance at making the world a better place. It will make us happy again; we can control our destiny. Bless us to each walk to our common ground, building strength in our diversity and do so enthusiastically while filled with humility.

Jaren

It may be that we can’t begin to imagine what it is like to be the victim of profiling or being unjustly accused of a crime. It may be that we don’t know what it is like to worry about putting food on the table or fighting disability. It may seem as though fairness is unevenly distributed. No matter who we are, it may be that we can’t honestly know what it feels like to be someone else.

That doesn’t mean we don’t care! It doesn’t mean we can’t do our part in seeking justice, maximizing possibility, and making influences where needed. It may seem daunting at times, but that is when it is needed the most. It is the media that is maximizing differences at a time we should rejoice in our similarities.

Organizations and governments are nothing but people. It is on us to come together. We will never regret offering people the chance to be treated the way we’d like to be treated. It goes around. It is the right thing to do. It’s the smart thing to do.

Jaren

I believe it is our nature to shy away from problems when they appear too large. We may feel a sense that there isn’t enough time or resources to make them go away. Yet, when we look back and realize the many difficulties we have overcome, we see that our success came from tackling small parts over time. There isn’t anything we can’t do if we take it step by step and are persistent in moving in a positive direction. While today’s troubles seem daunting, I hope each one of us works toward common goals of improving one day, one person, one opportunity at a time.

Jaren

Think with me for a minute about the times you most enjoyed your interactions with others. If they are like mine, it is when you come across someone kind, someone honest, someone patient, or someone filled with empathy. Are you one that others may have thought about when asked for your reflection above? I hope we all are; it is what makes our world a better place. They are simple, ordinary everyday human touches that will shape our future.